abbymackers

My lightbulb dreams

The mind is a myriad of thoughts, ideas, fantasies, ideals. Fleeting notions. Over the course of our lifetime we must think about more plans than we could ever make, more dreams than we could ever manifest. We dream big, abstractly, full of hope that one day it will all come true. We hope that by talking about it, thinking about it, planning it all, that destiny will cast a kind gaze upon us and in the blink of an eye we will be adorned with our finest notions. Dreaming allows us to escape from reality, to give us something to work toward, to challenge and motivate. As we age, so do our dreams. No longer the wide eyed child wishing to be a doctor, living in a tree house, surviving alone on chocolate and jam sandwiches, beyond the teenager who imagines a creative existence, free from boundaries and parents, the adult whose dreams are shattered by the reality of life, facing a future of practicalities, bills and expectations, to the elderly whose life is made, whose opportunity has passed, but whose dreams give hope. No matter where we are in life, we must have dreams that one day it will change.

I have dreams, plans, hopes, ambitions. Ideals for a life I hope to one day live. I look forward to the day I can begin to cross off my dreams as each one becomes a blissful reality. They aren’t unreasonable dreams, they aren’t beyond my reach. But they must be real. No longer content to satisfy myself with achieving each promise I have made, I must allow life to take its course, to lay my path before me and to trust in fate. Because although my dreams are simple, they have changed. As the aged grandmother reflects on a life of achievement, she sits in a nursing home dreaming of sky diving. I don’t want to reflect on my life in years to come and think of the things I have yet to do. I want to achieve them. And I want to achieve them in the moments where I can take full appreciation for them.

Time has not been kind to my dreams. I hold the same dreams I did ten years ago. A decade ago I visualised myself having achieved them and reaching forward for yet more ideals. But where fate has not brought forward triumph, destiny has. I am learning lessons about my dreams, I am understanding fate and I am creating more dreams through this. Some of my dreams are huge, unrealistic, uncontainable. They give me drive. Some of my dreams are realistic, unassuming, and will be pursued with time. They give me ambition. But the most important dreams are those which I am just beginning to learn about. They are not the noteworthy achievements, the life altering submissions. They are the everyday realisations. They are my journey. The things I want to do each day, the insignificant nuances that make me complete. I will achieve my dreams. By building up to them with each lightbulb moment that comes in to my mind. As each tiny dream illuminates, they will pave a way forward giving hope and confidence to the grander notions. Less significant, but more important –They will create my lightbulb dreams.

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This entry was published on March 15, 2014 at 9:50 pm. It’s filed under Life, mental health, well being and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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